How not to Book an Escort

With years of escorting experience behind me, I have acquired something of a finely tuned bullshit-ometer, coupled with acute intuition and other intangible variables, all of which keep me safe and sane.

At 45 years old I’m comfortable.  Not flashy, jet setting around the world bragging on Instagram about my latest superficial splurge in yet another gorgeous hotel; not really that frivolous but not fearing the bailiffs or wondering if I can afford a holiday this year – that kind of  comfortable.

This means I don’t need to work; I work because it’s fun, the sex interesting and the money is great, even with my 1-booking-a-day-more-like-a-week.

Bearing this in mind, you can imagine just how easily it is to NOT get a booking.  It could be something that I can’t quite put my finger on – perhaps the brusque, dismissive manner puts him on my Do Not Answer list.  Or maybe the agitated abusive swearing demonstrated by today’s latest Block List addition – KaneForFun (an ironic choice of moniker in retrospect since he sounded anything but)  on Adultwork, who called on DirectChat when my number was not appearing, as is often the case when I feel like taking enquiries by Email.

After further investigations into his claims that he had booked a male escort called Cameron from Maxes Angels it turns out they have no male escort of that name, according to Max himself.   Another tick in the close call box I’m sure you will agree.

You only get one chance to make a first impression/fuck it up.  Don’t be like Kane.

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Wank HO-liday!

These wank holidays are so much fun when you have a day of filth & depravity lined up!

Not being one to hurry one’s enjoyment of the finer things in life, some notice will be required to avoid mutual disappointment.

Not to say that your same day escort booking won’t be successful; it just might… but it is all the more likely if you are able to take your pleasure as seriously as I do! 😜

Manchester Now Fully Booked

Wow! After another insanely oversubscribed tour I am absolutely FUCKED in such an awesome way!

Slumped temporarily sated & utterly exhausted thanks to a ridiculously oversized appendage with the stamina of a frisky teenager (which he obviously was – several decades ago!!), I have no choice but to clear my diary to recover in every which way before the insanity resumes again tomorrow!

I have the luxury of a cooling fan wafting over my swollen & smashed but very very happy girly bits and generally taking it easy whilst my sexual strength rebuilds!

Being accused of “having a better offer” was surprisingly hurtful, particularly given the pride I take in my beautiful job together with the care, consideration and courtesy offered to the visitors I see.

However, without nurturing one’s health & observing basic self care there will be no Fun in our Fun Time for either of us.

Glasgow here we cum!

Squeezing in a week long tour between my return from a 3 week jaunt in Chelsea & whizzing up to Manchester for a week was not quite what I had in mind but I received a pre paid booking which always seals the deal for such new adventures!

Flight, accommodation and airport parking is all sorted & I will be heading up on 26th June & stay for a decadent 7 nights in bonny scotland returning on 3rd June!

My private apartment is conveniently located near Glasgow Charing Cross and is used by myself only. I’m not really one for sharing in that way! 😉  There is plenty of parking and my fridge will be as stocked as my fertile imagination!

Bookings on AdultWork take priority of course but I also take incalls & outcalls wherever I am located, subject to usual background checks.

What a Lovely Change!

It was great to chat to a gentleman who had actually purchased my content from the legitimate source instead of downloading it from one of those shitty tube sites!

After we chatted briefly about the scene I got to thinking wanking about Jim Slip & Lara Latex who were wonderful to work with. We created a hot yet fun scene full of character as well as great sex, which is what makes their site as successful as it is.

Another nice change is to venture to an obscure part of the cunt-ry which is where I am right now – sunny Leicester!

I was up here seeing friends & fuck buddies so thought I would combine it with some whoring but it’s been so busy (not tricky to do – I don’t see many penises a day) I’ve not had as much time to get round everyone!

On my last couple of days up here & you guys have made me so welcome it’s been so fun! The rest of the time I’m on cam so looking forward to luring a few more into my bed before one returns to London on Wednesday.

Getting Out of A Dodgy AdultWork Group

If you have been unfortunate enough to have signed your life away to an unscrupulous AdultWork group instead of joining one that gives you weekly exposure on the front page and unlimited advice on Skype/Yahoo/MSN, then you can take these immediate steps:

  • Stop working for the douche & copy all details of your profile into a text file
  • Start up a new (anonymous) profile with completely different information, verification documents & photos
  • contact AW to tell them what you are doing, why, & who you are escaping from
  • forget about your old profile – it was never yours – you were simply renting it for a percentage
  • Once you have been paid contact AW & report the old profile as a fake
  • Update your new profile as you wish

In the meantime you may like to do your homework on AdultWork Groups & understand the full power that the Group Managers have over your profile.

Those who have failed to do so have discovered to their financial loss that they have more control over your profile than you do

Feel free to contact me here or on skype: kinkydirtybitch if you require any further assistance or wish to join my group

Take care & play safe

Late Night/Early Morning Wood

KinkyDirtyBich amusing the All Night Boners in her fishnets & excuse of an outfit

You boys sure are UP early today! I’ve been enjoying the repetitive ramblings of one particularly kinky guy who is looking to see me & TS Liberty Harkness for a couple of hours of naughtiness soon which will be fun!  Oh the things the three of us could get up to!

Keep those calls cumming boys – I specialise in getting you off as quickly as your throbbing cock demands!